Approval Free – Seeking Approval Can Be Unhealthy.

Getting advice is needed from time to time. Sometimes we all have moments where we can’t figure shit out. There are times we have to talk to someone to gain clarity.  We all do it. It is normal. However, we need to be careful about how much we rely on seeking approval. In the end, seeking advice too much will eventually backfire. It is essential that you know how to make decisions for yourself. People have to break the habit of instantly running to family and friends when they feel uncertain. Instead, people need to try to figure out things out on their own. if all fails then,  you should try to seek help from others.

Everyone has the power to figure things out on their own, but most people are not confident enough to do.

Usually when a person constantly seeks approval its because they do not trust their own judgment. Some people will not carry out a plan unless they get approval from others first. The first step to making your own decisions is to make sure that you are real with yourself. If you are aware that you are not as confident as you should be, then you need to find ways to build your confidence up. If you are unsure of how to do so here’s something that may help you. You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life . This book is geared to help individuals boost their confidence.

Build up your confidence

Once a person builds their confidence up, it will be easier for them to do things or their own because they will not feel the need to rely on others to make them feel good. When a person lacks confidence it hard for them to face rejection. Insecure people get discouraged easily when someone disagrees with them. For this reason, individuals that lack confidence are less likely to take a risk because rejection adds on to their insecurities.

Heres when the problem arises

When a person continuously relies on opinions from others, they will forget what they want, or they may never get the opportunity to figure it out. It is essential to know what’s best for you, what’s bad for you and what’s not for you. You have to take the time out to weigh out your options and figure things out on your own. In the end, it’s your life, and the only person it affects is you.

Keep in mind that everyone has different perceptions.

You may have a different perception from your family and friends. It doesn’t matter how smart they are if you seek approval from people whose viewpoint is different from yours; they may never agree with you. if you are someone who relies on approval this will cause issues for you.  Not only can this cause you to second guess yourself, but this can also cause you to do things out of your character just to get others approval.

Don’t let approval control you.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to hear different perceptions. When you listen to opposing viewpoints, it can help you think outside box; however, it’s important to stay true to yourself.  More often than not people get upset with others when they receive advice that doesn’t work out in their favor.  In reality, you cannot be mad you have the final say so.  When you listen to someone else opinions over your own, YOU CHOOSE to give that person YOUR CONTROL.

Everyone doesn’t know your plan.

Let’s say you have a great business plan that you decide to propose to your family and friends.  You thought you had a good plan and you were expecting to get their approval and got denied.  Before you even got to explain everything, They criticized your ideas. In reality, they may be unaware of how good your plan is. Most of the time you know more about your method than anyone else because it’s yours. So to allow someone else approval to stop you from carrying out your ideas is pointless. Sometimes people are unable to see your vision until you execute it, which is why you should make your move first and ask questions later. You will learn how to perfect things as you go along.

 

Be mindful of whom you get approval from

Sometimes people take advice from all the wrong people. Some people take advice from people who have zero knowledge in a given area.  If you are a singer asking a photographer for information about your singing career, then you may be wasting your time. I’m not saying you can’t learn stuff from other people because you can, however, be mindful of who and what kind of things you’re asking for.  You shouldn’t bother asking someone who doesn’t know from experience to help you. Like Kayne said, ” Never trust a bartender that doesn’t drink .” Make sure it’s people that are in your field that are successful. They will have information worth listening to that will help you achieve your goals.

Fuck what people think.

You may have people that may not like what you do, and that’s okay. Pleasing everyone is impossible. You will drive yourself crazy trying to so. Do not confuse lack of approval for lack of talent . Once you follow your mind,  imagination and passions, seeking approval will not be so important to you.  You will take the time to listen to yourself first, and that will allow you to get things done way faster. The more you sit around and ask for people opinions the longer it will take you to make a final decision. Have faith in yourself and stick to your plan everything else will follow.