Breakups – How To OverCome The Stress After A Breakup.

 

Breakups are one of the hardest things to deal with. You ever get out a relationship and think to yourself ” Where did we go wrong”? The connection was good we understood each other so well, how did we get to this point? You start analyzing every aspect of your relationship to try to figure things out what was missing from your relationship and what caused it to end. ? Or You begin to question everything. Then you ask yourself “Was the connection real or was I way in over my head ?”Who did I fall in love with? Who are you?
Did I fall in love with the with who you are? Did I fall in love with the potential of who you can be, or did I fall in love with the person you pretended to be?

When you get advice from friends after a breakup.

It can be comforting to go to friends after a breakup to let some things off your chest, but sometimes it can also be hard to hear what they have to say. Its always good to get advice from somebody that’s on the outside looking in because they may be able to see things that you are unable to see yourself. However, since your friends are not psychically there all the time, there may be a lot of factors that they may miss, which causes them to have a hard time understanding your feelings.
Anytime you get out of a relationship, of course, your friends are going to say “ you will be fine, you can do better, they are not good enough for you anyways.” Although that may be true, it is still something hard to deal with the fact that the person you love is no longer apart of your life anymore.  If you feel that you are not making progress after your breakup check out this article Dealing With A Breakup: 7 Healthy Ways To Cope With Post-Split Stress to help you deal with it better.

A few things that may cross your mind during this process.

[actt mask=”The first thing that most people do after a break up is to talk about how good things were before the relationship ended. It does not matter who you talk to about this most people will tell you “ Everything is always perfect in the beginning and when the cupcake phase is over is when things get complicated.” We all know that, but sometimes it can still be a tough pill to swallow. You are always going to search for a deeper meaning for why things changed. The first thing that most people do after a break up begin to talk about how good things were before the relationship ended.

What people will tell you.

It does not matter who you talk to about this most people will tell you that “Everything is always perfect in the beginning and when the cupcake phase is over is when things get complicated.” We all know that, but sometimes it can still be a tough pill to swallow. You are always going to search for a deeper meaning for why things changed.
You may think to yourself “Did they pretend to act a certain way to impress me? Or do they have personal issues that caused them to have trouble being in a relationship?   We all are a working progress. What if they wanted to give you their new and improved self? What if they took their mistakes and tried to correct them with you? Maybe they are showing you the best version of themselves, the person that they are working towards becoming.

The reason why things may never change.

Maybe their old habits and ways may have been hard for them to shake, causing them to revert back to their old ways. Perhaps the change was frightening and painful for them to adjust to. A lot of people have a difficult time adjusting to change even if it’s for the greater good. Sometimes people hold on to things because they are in fear of something different. The second they are given the opportunity to change and adapt to something new they become resistant. Even if they hold on to something that has no value or that brings negativity in their life, they will hold on to it. People hold on to things that are not good for them because they know what to expect from it.  As crazy as it may sound most people are frightened by the unknown.
So when you are in a relationship, and you see changes, but then you see your partner revert back to their old ways sometimes they may be why.

Things to stay away from

Do not blame yourself for the reason why your partner did not change for you. Like I mentioned before it is tough for a person to change their ways. Sometimes you can influence a person and motivate them to change, but that is not always the case. A person has to be open and ready for the change in order to improve. Do not blame yourself for the reason why things ended. It takes two people to be in a relationship. Therefore it is impossible for everything to be your fault.  Take responsibility for where you went wrong and forgive yourself.

Do not dwell on the mistakes you made in your relationship. Make sure you remember the mistakes you made, so you will know what to look out for in your next relationship. Take things day by day and allow yourself to accept things for what they are. Do not set expectations for you two to get back together because you will disappoint yourself if it does not happen and it will make it harder for you to move on.

Give Yourself time to heal

Do not try to rush the process. Breakups are hard but the worse thing you can do is try to rush to get over someone it will backfire trust me. Do not hold back. Allow your self to cry scream and do whatever you need to do to let go of your pain. Give yourself some space from your ex. Do not keep asking people about them you may hear things about them that you may not want to hear. You should consider deleting your ex off of your social media. Cut all ties with your ex so you can heal. ( Out of sight out of mind.) If you hold on you will never be able to get rid of the attachment. Try to stay far away from them as possible until you are ready to face them.

Keep yourself busy

 

Make sure you keep yourself busy. The more you keep yourself busy, the less time you will spend dwelling over the situation. In the beginning, it is going to be hard, and this may be the only thing you can think about. But after a while, you have to make time to have fun and engage in hobbies or activities that will help you mentally. For example, if you are into music try using your music as an outlet to release your pain.  if you are a poet, try using poems as an outlet to be creatively express yourself. Try to go out and have a night out with friends. If you feel angry go to the gym to release your steam if you use outlets to help you each day you will from a routine that allows you to release your feelings positively.

 

You may ask yourself why the universe would send me someone just for it not to work out?

At times we connect with people merely through their soul. If you’re lost or feeling down spiritually, you may connect with someone who feels the same way. It’s like two lost souls running in the forest looking and searching for what is lost, and somehow both souls end up meeting each other. Both souls have something that the other soul may need to prosper.
When you connect with one’s soul. The way you engage in conversation is different. Sometimes you two communicate without even speaking. You sense the type of day they had. You know when they’re feeling up and when they’re feeling down. Just around each other is powerful. You can’t explain the dynamic of the relationship in words, people that are not attuned will not understand it nor have they ever experienced it.

Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes the universe will send you someone who can learn from you. Sometimes we need to learn from others and sometimes we have to be the teacher as well.
No matter how much you may push them, They may not change while you’re with them. Things take time. They may change when you’re no longer together. If you accept their behaviors, you are enabling them to stay the same. The reason It may have ended so they can learn and grow, and you may learn and grow with them as well.

Just because something did not work out does not mean that it was not real.  It may not be your time yet.  Don’t give up on love. Make sure you find the lessons behind each heartbreak.