Confident women have the ability to grab the attention of everyone they meet. Their upbeat personality and their ability to walk in a room unafraid with their head held high, create a majestic aura that leaves people yearning to know more about them. Despite their shade, height or size they have the ability to display the significance that they hold for themselves to the world in a graceful manner. She is the woman that tons of men would love to date and the woman that employers view as the perfect candidate. Most of all confident women are the kind of women that other women aspire to be. This leaves many women dying to know the secrets and methods that contribute to their confidence. In this article, we are going to share the methods, secrets, and lifestyles that confident women use that set them apart from women with low self-esteem.
Appearance rarely affects a woman’s confidence.
Before I go any further I just want to make sure that I mention that confident women achieve confidence from working on themselves from the inside-out. Many people raise the assumption that women who are considered “more attractive” tend to have more confidence than women that are “less attractive.” The truth is that low self-esteem is found in all women. Even the women that may appear to be the most beautiful women have a hard time recognizing their beauty. 6400 women participated in a study to determine the percentage of women that pose high self-esteem. In 2004 only 2% of women considers themselves beautiful and in today’s time that percent only increased to 4%. It just goes to show that obtaining confidence is not any easier for the next woman. So make sure you show admiration to the women that demonstrate confidence, never discredit or sabotage anyone for their confidence because the battle is hard enough already. Be kind to others.
Most of all be patient.
It’s obvious that the road to confidence is far from easy. But even as difficult as this journey it is still possible to achieve. There may be days when you may feel that you will never master it. But you have to keep going. This means you have to have a plan in place that will help you feel better about yourself. Confident women create plans and habits to build their self-esteem. Here are four habits that confident women incorporate into their daily routine that self-conscious women may be missing.
1. Speak kindly to yourself with positive affirmations.
Confident women speak highly of themselves. It can be out loud, or in the privacy of their journal. Women with high self-esteem shower themselves with kind and positive words every day. A woman with high self-esteem does not rely on compliments to make them feel good about themselves. Nor do they allow a lack of recognition to make them feel less about themselves. Confident women take the time out to remind themselves every day how amazing they are. Writing down or chanting positive words every day is what keeps a woman going. There are going to be days where you make mistakes. The way you speak to yourself in those moments is fundamental. When you tell yourself “it’s okay to make mistakes,” “I am capable,” “I am smart,” you will feel way better as opposed to “I am a failure,” I can’t do this,” “I am stupid.” What you tell yourself affects how you feel about yourself. The women that struggle to speak kindly to themselves can change this by utilizing workbooks, note cards, or workshops that are centered around self-love.
When you are big on yourself you don’t rely on validation.
Self-conscious women focus too much on what others think about them. They tend to digest and internalize the things that people say about them until it’s true. The funny thing is that people tend to mock and nitpick at people that they admire. Insecure women are so unaware of their greatness they fail to see that they are mistreated out of jealousy. They are so down on themselves they take criticism as evidence to prove that they are not enough. But don’t get me wrong, confident women may get upset about what others may say to them.
What separates confident women and self-conscious women is how they cope with negative comments.
A confident woman may get upset, but she will move on because she already mastered the power of positive affirmations. Her daily routine blocks out the negativity from other people. Some things may ruffle your feathers a little bit, but your positive affirmations will help you overcome those feelings and thoughts. What you tell yourself is the most important factor. To be confident means to recognize that internal factors are the most significant aspect of your journey.
2. Embrace your flaws.
Every woman has something that they do not like about themselves. Women spend too much time nitpicking and pointing out the flaws that they never overcome. Some women believe that they cannot be beautiful until their flaws are no longer present. A woman that is self-conscious about her weight may think it’s impossible to be and feel beautiful until she loses weight. It can be something as simple as not having a flat stomach, thin waist, or big arms. However, even if she does decide to do something to improve her shape, the results will not happen overnight. She still will have to find a way to make the best out of what she has in order to feel good about herself. The same goes for you as well. You can have a stomach that is not the flattest and still be beautiful with a nice body. Learn what clothes will make you feel beautiful. Find out what accommodates your figure the best and work it. Use positive affirmations to ensure your beauty. Whatever you do, make sure you confront your insecurities until you are comfortable with them.
You have to change the way you think about yourself and your flaws because there are some things in our lives that we are born with that we can’t change.
Those are the things that we have to learn to like about ourselves because that’s what makes us unique. For the women that may be self-conscious about having a big forehead, big nose, big eyes, or whatever God created you with, you have to learn how to find beauty in these aspects. There are other women that have those same qualities and they have to find ways to love those qualities. Those are the women you need to pay attention to and gravitate towards. Do not compare yourself to the women that come off confident that have qualities that you do not have. You will only assume they are confident because they don’t have the flaws you have. Instead, look at the women that embrace the flaws that you are not comfortable with yet. Those are the women that will demonstrate the beauty that you have within yourself.
They are the women that show you that “if she can be confident with herself, then so can I.” You will see that your flaws are not nearly as bad as you make them out to be.
Your flaws are often the qualities that bring out your beauty.
It took me some time to see this for myself. I was very insecure about having big eyes. The things I did to hide this flaw was ridiculous, now that I think about it. I would go out of my way to squint my eyes in pictures. Sometimes I would wear hairstyles to cover my eyes. I realized that some of the most beautiful women had big eyes like mine. Some of those women’s eyes were bigger than mine. Supermodels, actresses, and all kinds of women had the same flaw as me. And they embraced it, which gave me the push to work on my insecurities. I had to look in the mirror and compliment myself each day. I realized my big eyes are not so bad. Ironically, I see my eyes as one of my best features. Little by little that became my strategy to find beauty in all the things I did not like about myself.
3. Set goals and track your progress.
Every woman has a long list of things that they want out of life. No matter how big or small we all want things that we may not have right now at this moment. To get those things on your list, you have to create goals. And that’s only a portion of it. When you realize what you want you have to write those things down. When you write your goals down and see the steps that it takes to achieve them. You will see how accessible your goals are. That will give you the courage to go after them. Every time you cross off a step that is attached to meeting your goal will make you feel good about yourself. It’s easier to remove self-doubt when you see progress. Will you still experience failure along the way? Absolutely! Failure is something that we will experience for the rest of our lives. It’s a part of the journey.
What keeps a woman confident after she fails?
A confident woman refuses to take failure personally. She does not beat herself up over it. Nor will she let negative thoughts take over. She uses positive words to pick herself up and pats herself on the back for her efforts. Failure is her push to try again. Whenever she moves closer to the goals she celebrates her growth. She feels good that she is a better woman than she was the day before. When she fails she will not have any intentions to give up because they know they are capable. So the next time you feel doubtful go back to the drawing board. look at your checklist and recognize the progress. That’s your proof.
4. Confident women do not settle.
They know they are worthy of everything that they deserve no matter how big or crazy it may seem. She is not willing to sacrifice her wants and needs for anyone. That includes relationships, friendships, and careers. As I mentioned before, when a woman writes down her goals, she is only fascinated by the things that will bring her closer to them. Anything that goes against her mission will be left behind. When she says no she does not see it as a missed opportunity because she is clear about what she wants and needs. She tells herself every day she is worthy and she moves as such. So when a potential partner tries to convince her that she wants too much, she seeks after someone that will see she is just enough. When her employer fails to see she is worthy of a promotion or raise she goes to a facility that will give her the position she wants. Does it ever cross her mind that she is being unreasonable? NO!
Women who lower their standards will experience issues with their self-esteem.
That’s where most women go wrong. When you accept whatever is given to you it can cause you to accept the bare minimum. People will try to convince you that your standards are too high. Some people will make you feel guilty about having high expectations. You have to be strong enough not to give in. Every time you say yes to something that does not meet your needs, you push yourself further away from them. It makes it harder for you to build the courage to go after what you want. Get in the habit of saying no. Do not sacrifice your standards to please others. You will find yourself stuck with everything you do not want. The ball is in your court. Your desires arrive when you demand them. When you do this you become powerful and fearless.
Confidence is not something you are born with.
I stand tall and am proud of my confidence. But I was not always a confident person. There were times in my life when I had a list of things that I hated about myself. I admired other women’s beauty and potential, and I could not see my own. When I was in high school my therapist told me to tell her all the things I love about myself. I will never forget how hard it was for me to answer that question. When she asked me that question I could not name one thing that I love about myself. Years later, I can sit down and write down things that I love about myself everyday which is amazing to me. It was far from easy. I had rough days and times when I thought about giving up.
I had to change my mindset and lifestyle
The habits that I mentioned in this article made a big impact on my self-esteem. Hopefully, these methods will help you as much as they helped me. If you are unsure where to start, try journaling, do self-love exercises, or talk to a therapist. I have a Self-love and Self- confidence booster that can help you get started. This is a 30 day prompted journal that will give you the safe space to confront your flaws. It’s an everyday exercise that will train you to speak highly of yourself, track your progress, and more. This journal was one of the things I started with when I struggled with my self-esteem and it helped me tremulously as well as other women.