Friend or Foe?

When you get older, your perspective on friends changes from when you are a child. When you are younger, most of your first friends are neighbors. Majority of your friends grew up in the same area as you or your parents have their friends children hang out with you. Even if you don’t want to hang out with them your parents pretty much choose your friends for you. When you are younger, you see and talk to your friends every day. Outside of family, your friends are the people you do everything with. You all wear matching outfits, talk alike sound alike. You get so close to your friends that you two are practically the same person. Most of the time you may try to plan your whole life out with your childhood friends. You tell each other your wedding plans, yall apply to the same colleges to make sure Y’all can be together forever. But when you get older, most people take their separate paths and realize that they can’t do everything with their friends. As time goes on you may not have that much in common with your friends. Some may be able to keep the friendship, but sometimes people outgrow each other so much that they have no choice but to let it go. When you are an adult, you chose your friends. Your friends are not selected because Y’all went to the same school, grew up in the same neighborhood or because Y’all have a million things in common.

Yes, you are going to have things in common with your friends but Y’all are going to have differences, and you have to respect those differences.

If you are the type of person that likes to go out and party does not mean that your friends are going to be into the same things. Your friend may be into staying home and reading. But just because they don’t want to do what you want to do does not make them less of a friend. If books aren’t your thing, but your friend tries to push you to read, you may be open to it you may like it, but if you find yourself be uninterested in it still then your friend has to respect it. That goes the same for you. Allow your friend to be themselves. Both of you may share a few common interests. Perhaps you and your friend both like to travel. Then you know that both of you can go together that way you both can be yourselves and you both are satisfying your admirations. Your friend is not put here to be your identical twin so don’t expect them to accept them for who they are. You are not a child anymore. Also, keep in mind people are trying to get their lives together. People have responsibilities. Your friends cannot talk and hang out every single day. That does not mean your friendship is over. You should be able to go days without talking to your friends and still have the same bond and if not then how deep is your friendship?

A friend is not always going to agree with you.
Like I said you are an adult now your friend is not going always to tell you what you want to hear. A real friend will tell you what you need to understand. If your friend knows your wrong but tells you what you want to hear to keep you happy, then that’s not a real friend. A friend would want you to grow and learn from your mistakes.

Real friends are not going to compete with you. If you mention to a friend that you want to buy a gold necklace and your friend goes out and buys that same necklace before you, then they are not your friend. A friend would not get what you want and try to beat you to the punch. If they never mentioned anything about the necklace and tried to get it before you then they are trying to rub it in your face. If this continues to happen, they either want to be you, or they are trying to be better than you. A real friend does not copy off everything that you do. You have seen the roommate that kind of relationship is unhealthy.

Real Friends will not throw things in your face.
If you asked your friend for a favor no matter how mad you get at one another, they would not throw the favors in your face. Friends ask for favors all the time.
Even if you ask your friend for a favor and they can’t do it, they should never be mad at you and throw what they did for you in your face. Someone that is indeed your friend does a favor without expecting anything in return.

A true friend cares about your feelings.
If something is bothering you, you should be able to tell your friends. Your friends should never make you feel like your feelings are not important. If you have an issue with one of your friends and you express how you feel. They should consider your feelings and apologize and own up to it so Y’all can move forward.
A real friend is supportive. If you have something you are genuinely passionate about your friends will support your dreams they will promote your craft /business, and they will show up to your events. They may not be able to attend everything so don’t expect them to. However, if you have a gathering that is important to you such as, marriage, baby shower, graduation birthday, etc., they will try to be there. Sometimes they can’t, but that’s okay that does not mean that’s not your friend if they have a valid reason for not being there. A true friend will be happy for you in whatever you do. Even if it’s something, they don’t care for if it makes you happy no matter where they are at in life, they will genuinely be happy for you.