Second Chance- Can You Take Any Of Your Exes Back ?

 

Breakups are so hard. Especially when you get out of a relationship with someone you genuinely love, letting go is the hardest part. It’s hard to get the “what ifs” out of your head. What if this was the one? You may question if it was the right thing to do. Despite how a relationship ends, I’m sure everyone hopes their ex will ask for a second chance. Even if you do or don’t want to be with them, it just feels good to know that your partner did not want the relationship to end. Everyone wants to feel wanted. However, if someone you truly love, came back to make the relationship work, do you think it can work out?

There are incidents when second chances have worked out.

When you see movies like “The Notebook and Love And Basketball “, it seems like it is possible. The couples in the film break up and get back together plenty of times. In the end, both couples end up in successful relationships. In both movies, both couples dated different timeframes of their life’s. Sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time. Some people beleive that some couples need time apart to grow and mature, and when they do, they can be in a healthy relationship.

But the question is, how do you know when two people should be together? A lot of times exes do come back, but it doesn’t mean that you should give them a second chance.

So how do you know if it’s worth a second chance?

It all depends on the situation. If your relationship ends on good terms, then, it may be possible to rekindle the flame. Sometimes life gets out of control, and some couples may agree to take a break from their relationship in other to get their selves in order. Sometimes it works out when couples take time apart. When you share a deep bond with someone and the relationship is cut short, you may feel like you and your ex has unfinished business.  The two of you might still love each other.  its possible that the connection may still be there as well.

Why some people beleive in second chances.

I know from experience I have an ex that I share a deep bond with. Our relationship was cut short, and we still care for one another. We can go a long time without speaking or seeing one another. But when we do come in contact with each other, our connection is still there.

I’m not saying that means we are meant to be together, but there are times that I think about giving the relationship a second chance. So if you find yourself in this situation, then I can see why you would consider giving your ex a second chance.

Things you should keep in mind when you are thinking about giving your ex a second chance.

Even though the relationship did not end on bad terms, you still have to keep in mind the bond came to an end for a reason.
You have to be able to learn from the last experience and apply it to move forward. Let’s say you and your partner broke up because you two thought a relationship was too much to handle. Both of you thought that it would be easier to get things in order separate than together.

Now if you decide to give the relationship a second chance , can you handle it? If life was to send obstacles, will you be able to handle those obstacles and still maintain a healthy relationship?

Dissect and reflect.

Let’s be real obstacles are apart of life. You are going to be hit with obstacles as long as you live. However, will you be able to handle it or will you result back to the habits from the previous time? When you take a break with someone and decide to rekindle, changes have to be made for it to work. Not just separately but as a unit as well.  You have to be able to learn from prior mistakes. Can you see how your actions contribute to the breakup? What steps are you going to take to avoid that? Do you know how to handle things better this time around?

If the answer is yes, then you’re off to a great start. If you are still unsure, check out this article Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex? This article also helps you figure out if it’s a good idea to give your ex a second chance.

Change is key

Also, keep in mind that just because you changed doesn’t mean that your ex did. That’s a huge factor as well.   Everyone moves at their own pace.   You may have made a lot of progress and may think they did the same.  At times you may feel that you know how to handle the relationship this time.  All of those factors may be true. But both parties have to be on that same page for it to work. Your partner may have changed, and if they did, then you too may be mature enough to overcome the breakup and rebuild your foundation. But if they did not change, you have to be honest, with yourself. Do not set yourself up.

Why people do not beleive in second chances.

However, in some cases, you have people that don’t believe in second chances based on how their relationship ended. People that were apart of relationships that consist of cheating, disrespect, abuse, or toxic behaviors, may feel that it is impossible to get back with their ex. Despite how much their ex apologizes it will not work. Those type of relationships should not be in your life . Especially if you moved on from that stage in your life and you are now in a better place. Going back will diminish your self-growth.

There are cases where second chances may not be right for you.

If you were in a relationship where you felt drained and weak, then it’s not a good idea to go back to that person. It is normal to feel inadequate without your partner after a breakup. Let’s be real if you felt that way when you were with them, then you will also feel that way when you two separate. It’s not because you can’t live without them. It’s because living with them made you feel that way. Even though you are no longer with them, you will feel weak without them because they embedded that trait into you.

The mistake people make when they give someone a second chance.

When you’re with someone who makes you feel unworthy, it takes time for you to build yourself up again. The problem is most people think that because they feel weak without their partner, that going back will make them feel stronger. They get this idea that maybe if they accommodate themselves, things will change and they will feel stronger being with them.

So if you do believe in second chances, make sure you consider all the facts before you give your ex a second chance.

Don’t get me wrong when you genuinely love someone; you will not feel right when you’re without your partner. Your partner is your other half. However, don’t mistake that feeling with someone who is not healthy for you. When you’re with someone right for you, you will feel stronger with them and weak without them. But when you’re with someone wrong for you, then you will feel weak either way.

Second chances are all based on the dynamic of the relationship.

Outside of the attachment, you share with this person, can this relationship work out?
I believe that only certain relationships should be considered. Anything that caused trauma in your life doesn’t deserve a second chance nor a second thought. Let’s be real trauma takes a long time to get over. If you go back to someone that created trauma in your life, then it may take longer for you to get over it. Even if you are over it just being around that person can trigger different emotions that are related to those traumas. If you or someone you know are in this position, then check out my post  Breakups – How To Overcome The Stress After A Breakup.

Do you have anyone from your past that tries to rekindle an old flame? If so, do you believe that if you give them a second chance, it will work out?
Is your answer based on the kind of relationship you had before the breakup?