Confidence is key. It doesn’t matter what you to do in life you will need the self-confidence to be successful. Every successful person will emphasize the importance of confidence.  Life will not always happen the way you want it to happen. However, your confidence will give you the power to overcome your obstacles. I’m sure most people are aware of how vital it is to have confidence. But we all know that it is not easy to gain confidence. I am almost sure that everyone would love to have confidence. Most people probably wonder,” where do I begin? ” I know women especially struggle with self-confidence the most because there is so much pressure on how we should look.
Why it so hard to gain confidence.
We deal with criticism so often. Between the media, men, and women, it is easy to fall victim to self-doubt. The pressure that we face can leave us feeling confused. When you see the praise that other women get sometimes, you may think you have to be that way to be accepted. Deep down inside, we know we should be ourselves, but sometimes we may feel that we should have to conform to society’s expectations. Since woman face, so much criticism it is hard to be open and get help with this issue. The real question is, who do you run to for help?
So many women have self-esteem issues, but very few will admit it. Most women try to deal with it alone or will try to put a bandage over it.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Most women probably will deal with this issue alone. Through trial and error, you may find something that works for you. However, it doesn’t have to be the way that way. I believe women can empower and help each other gain confidence. One of the biggest mistakes women make is that we fail to utilize each other. Sometimes women will try to run to men to boost their confidence. That may help, but it will only work for a short amount of time.
Women need to come together.
A man can never make you feel confident in yourself unless you are already convinced. Us women need to run to other women for help because women know what other women go through. A man does not know what it is like to be a woman. Therefore he may not know how to help you; he may not even understand where your insecurities come from. There are women out there that know exactly how you feel. They have been through it, or they are going through it now. I’m almost sure they can help you overcome it because they know from personal experience. Â
The first step to improve your confidence.
 I’m not going to lie; it may be a little uncomfortable to tell another woman that you lack confidence. Of course, no one wants to be made fun of or have someone use their insecurities against them. But you will see that you are not alone and you find women that can relate to you.  Lately, I have been struggling with self-confidence. I was going to keep it to myself, but after reading Queen Latifah autobiography  Put on Your Crown: Life-Changing Moments on the Path to Queendom.” I changed my mind. Queen Latifah is a woman that I always admired for her confidence.
When I saw she had a book about the confidence, I got it without hesitation. Queen Latifah struggled with low self-esteem issues as a child. It is inspiring to see her overcome her insecurities. Her sharing her personal experiences, made me feel brave enough to share some of my struggles.
Your story can help others.
The era she grew up in affected her insecurities. She grew up in an era where beauty was viewed differently. Women with light skin, thin waist, with fine, straight hair were the only women considered beautiful. However, Queen Latifah was the opposite of that. She’s a brown-skinned, plus size woman with kinky hair. As a child, her dream was to be on TV and magazines, but she was unsure if her ideas would become a reality. She did not see women that her weight or her complexion on TV or magazine covers. At times she was discouraged and doubtful of her success and her beauty.
The reason behind her insecurities.
Queen Latifah personality also made her second guess herself. She was not like the other girls in school. Queen Latifah loves sports, and as a child, she played games with the guys. She did not mind getting dirty or getting hurt. As a child and her early teens, Queen Latifah wore sneakers and sweats. Dresses and heels were barely in her wardrobe.
Her peers made fun of her for being a tomboy. She believes having a label as a tomboy made it hard for her to date. Queen Latifah saw that guy like girls that were ” girly girls.” The guys in her school liked girls that wore makeup or tight and revealing clothes. Even though she wanted guys to like her, she knew that wasn’t her style.
Confidence=acceptance
It did bother her because tomboys did not appear on tv or magazine covers either. She had every odd against her at one point. However, She came to terms that she had to accept herself first. Despite what society thinks she had to see her beauty. Queen Latifah came to terms that her weight does not define her. She began to love her body as a plus-size woman. Little by little, she fell in love with every part of her image. She embraced her tomboy ways, and she got in touch with her feminine side. Her insecurities became her secret weapon in her career.
How your insecurities can turn into strengths.
Her unique personality made her a likable person in the entertainment industry. In the end, it brought her a significant amount of success. She is a woman who demonstrates versatility. Queen Latifah can do anything.  Queen Latifah can play a role where she can rob a bank and turn around and be a spokeswoman for a CoverGirl commercial. Keep in mind that Covergirl is one of the most ” girliest ” beauty commercials on TV. If she did not hang out around guys, then it may not have been as easy for her to see how they behave. Those qualities made it easy for her to mimic their alpha man behaviors. All in all, her qualities made her a great at in her career.
Her story made me realize.
To see someone overcome all their obstacles made me believe, I can do the same.  I do not know what it is like to be a plus-size woman. However, I know how it feels to be insecure about my body. I am a woman with curves so, I do not have a flat stomach. On top of that, I have stretch marks and cellulite. Now, of days, people are open to different body types. However, there still are a few exceptions. Society thinks women with curves should have a flat stomach. Women with curves will have belly fat. However, that doesn’t mean you have a disgusting body.
My insecurities
For a while, I did not like my body, and I was insecure about it. My weight has always been up and down. I put on weight recently because I got busy and did not have time to go to the gym. At first, I was disgusted with my body because I didn’t look like the girls on Instagram. When I had time to go back to the gym, I refuse to go. I told myself that I have to learn to love my body before I go back to the gym. I beleive that if I didn’t do this, then I would still l feel insecure even when I make improvements.
I can admit.
Between my body and being a tomboy, it was hard for me to believe in myself. People always considered me as a tomboy, and I was very self-conscious about it. Maybe its all in my head but I believe both men and women judge me for it. Sometimes I think guys do not find me attractive because of it. I always hear guys talk about how they love a woman who can strut in heels and work a beautiful dress. I do not know how to walk in heels.
 Lack of confidence affects your success.
 Sometimes it makes me feel that I am not woman enough. There are times I put on heels, and I feel out of place, and I take them off. I see how other women strut in their heels, and I do not come close to that. Sometimes I worry that I don’t look right in heels, which causes me to put sneakers on. I had intentions to pursue a fashion career, but my insecurities got in the way. At one point, I thought it was impossible to pursue a fashion career as a tomboy.  Don’t get me wrong. I love my tomboy swag. However, I want to have confidence I have when I wear heels as I do when I wear sneakers.
Where I’m at now
Before I did not think it was possible to pursue my dream, but now I know it is possible. Although my confidence is not where to want it to be, I know I will get there in due time. I am taking my insecurities day by day, and I am working on them. By working on my insecurities, I know I will be one step closer to being confident. I believe anyone woman that struggles with confidence should read this book. Queen Latifah is such an inspiring and genuine woman, and she has so many experiences that many women can relate too. I hope her experiences, as well as mine, will help someone out there who is dealing with this issue.
