Parents Just Don’t Understand- How To Get Along Better With Your Children.

When children get a certain age, they can be hard to tolerate. They start talking back, slamming doors and they barely want to talk to you anymore. As time goes on, they start to get distant towards you. And they would rather spend time alone or with friends their friends. Your child still loves you it’s just a phase they go through when they are a teenager. If you want to know more check out this article that discusses the reason why children become distant towards their parents. Why Teenagers Become ‘Allergic’ to Their Parents Parents dread when their children become teenagers. Many parents feel that their children grow disobedient or that their children hate them during their teenage years. However, you have to remember that they are just as stressed out as you are.

There is so much pressure being a teenager.

Most young adults are trying to figure out who they are. They also have to try to make friends and fit in with the other kids at school. It may sound like it is simple, but it is not. Everyone wants to be cool, and everyone wants to have friends at school. It is so much pressure being popular, that sometimes some children are pressured to be something they’re not just to be liked.  Some children get made fun of when they are not ” cool enough,” or when they are different. As much as you may tell your children not to let this affect them, it still does. It is so easy for child self-esteem to be ruined. On top of the social pressures at school, students have to pretend to care and engage in their classes to earn good grades and to make their teachers happy.

Teenage Crisis is Real.

From the ages, 13-18 is one of the hardest time of a personal life. At the age of 13 is when their body starts going through so many different changes. Teens begin to go through puberty. They begin to develop a lot of hormones that they do not know how to handle it. Everything is happening so fast, and they do not have confide in they can’t talk to their friends because they are embarrassed or they are just as lost as them. Teens can barely speak to adults about these kinds of issues because they do not  take their feelings serious.

Teenagers spend most of their time trying to please other people. MORE PRESSURE!!!

Most kids are trying to please their parents hard.  Majority of the time children have to do things they don’t like to keep their parents happy. Most teenagers know that they do not have a choice but to abide by what they told to do. However, when children get to a certain age, they want to explore and learn things on their own. However, parents, teachers, and guardians do not allow teenagers to have this freedom. Most of the time kids are unable to be themselves because it goes against what authority figure wants.  Adults always encourage children to express themselves, but most of the time they cant without being accused of being disrespectful.

Let children be themselves and let them do what makes them happy.

I know sometimes parents may see that their child is good at something so they may try to force them to pursue a career in it. For example, let us say your child is good at basketball and has the opportunity to get a full scholarship in college playing basketball. However, although they are good at it, they do not wish to pursue a career in it. Your child has a passion for music and wants to explore that field more. However, you disregard how they feel and make them do it.

Is it best for them or best for you?

We get parents their children to seek the best opportunities possible, but if they do not have a passion for it, then you should not force them to do it. Not only will they be unhappy doing it, but they will begin to have resentment towards you. In reality, they are doing this because of them they are doing it because that’s what you want.
Just because you give your children life, does not mean you have full control over it. You have a life of your own that you have complete control over. Parents are here protect, guide and love their children not control them.

Children feelings matter too.

Sometimes parents tend to take their anger out on their children. You may not realize it, but when you have a rough day at work, you may be a little mean to your children.  You are human it happens. However, parents need to understand that their children will do the same thing.  There are times when your child will acquire stress, and they may come home and take it out on you.  NO, it is not okay for them to do that, but it’s not okay for you to do that to them either. We get you to pay the bills, you put a roof over their head, and clothes on their back, but that does not give you the right to be insensitive to how your children feel.  They may not have the weight of paying bills and taking after, but they do have stress too, and they should not be made to feel that their anxiety and issues do not matter.

Put yourself in your children shoes.

Before you get mad, and before you discipline your children you have to take a step back and think about how you felt when you were their age. You were once in their shoes. Maybe the same issues had when you were a teenager may be the same issues they have with you. Try talking to your children and ask them what’s going on. Make it clear that you are going to listen to them. Get in touch with your teenage and be more understanding. You want to make sure that your children feel comfortable talking to you. If they don’t then, they will have built up anger because they are unable to express themselves.

Children have to listen, but parents need to start.

Make sure you listen to your children. Let them voice their opinion. Allow them to tell you how they feel even if it’s different then what you believe is right.
Shutting your kids down can cause them to feel that their thoughts do not matter. It will also teach them that they should only listen to authority. They will believe that they are not allowed to have a voice and mind of their own. Yes, we know children may think they know everything. However, you don’t know everything either. Do not assume just because you are the parent that you cannot learn from your children because you can. There are some things that your children may know more about then you do.  And there are some things you’re going to know about that is foreign to them. I also have a post that discusses the ways the cycle of parenting and how your parent’s habits can affect the way you handle your children. if you want to know more click the post Running On Empty

Loosen Up

I’m not saying parents should allow their children to do whatever they want. However, parents need to let their children grow up a little bit. You cannot be too strict or too because your children to be rebellious. As much as you are afraid for them to grow up, its nothing you can do to stop it. A lot of parents hold on tight to their kids because they are in fear that their children will make the same mistakes as them. You have to let your children make mistakes. They may not make the same choices that you made as a child. Have faith and trust your children and give them a little more freedom and I promise they will be more tolerable.