One of the hardest pills to swallow is when we fail at something. It doesn’t matter how big or small nothing hits you harder than when you fail at something you care about. To see something you put your heart and time in fall apart is one of the most heartbreaking feelings.
Especially when never thought you would fail.
It’s hard to accept failure when you played your victory in your head a million times. The walk of shame you take when you tell your family and friends that you failed can be humiliating . Especially If they were expecting you to win . Because you told them with confidence that you would succeed.
At one point you don’t have any choice but to accept the fact that you failed. It may feel like you let everyone down including yourself. But you have to accept it in order to get overcome it.
I get it no one wants to fail. But unfortunately, we will experience failure a million times before we get to where we want to be in life. I won’t lie and tell you that failing will ever feel good, because it may not ever. Especially in the beginning.
But what I will tell you that you can overcome the sadness of failure by being kind to yourself.
The last thing you want to do is make yourself feel worse by enraging in negative self-talk. Do not say things like : “ I am so stupid , I can’t get anything right , Maybe I am a failure .” Because there’s no truth to that. You failed at something, but that doesn’t make you a failure. Nor does it make you stupid because you couldn’t get something right. Do not talk to yourself in that manner.
Negative self-talk and failure is a bad combination.
When you do this you will only discourage yourself. You will also start to second guess your ability. The truth of the matter is negative self-talk will only push you further away from trying again. I know some people believe that being hard on yourself will push you to work harder. Some people may have used negative words as fuel to accomplish their goals.
However , someone being negative towards you will not affect you as much as when you are negative to yourself.
Everyone has had someone doubt them before. Sometimes someone telling you that “you can’t do it “could have gave you the fuel to push harder to prove them wrong. I know for me when people doubted me I worked ten times as hard to prove them wrong. To be honest that method helped me accomplish many of my goals. However, when people stop being negative towards me and started believing in me after I proved myself. I adopted that negative reinforcement.
Sometimes you do not see negative self-talk as a bad thing.
I was so used to it that even when it was no longer there I kept it there. For some reason, I felt I needed to push myself harder. In my mind, I thought this was helping me reach my goals better and making me work harder. In reality, my productivity decreased and my self-esteem and motivation did as well. I figure if that’s what pushed me before, then I have to use that same strategy to keep me going. Boy did it take me to hit rock bottom to see that I was wrong.
The last person you want to be unkind to is yourself.
Because in reality, no one can tell you what you are and are not capable of. Its easy to prove someone wrong that doubts you.
But when it’s you that speaks negatively of yourself eventually you will start to believe it. Even if it’s not true. No one convinces you as easy as you can convince yourself. You hear your thoughts more than anything else. So you need to be careful what you tell yourself because it plays a huge part in your actions.
Pat yourself on the back for having the courage to put yourself out there and try.
Make sure you give yourself credit for the amount of hard work you put in. Victory doesn’t always determine how hard you work. You can put your all into something and still not get the results you want. So do not take the credit away from yourself because of the outcome. Sometimes victories are determined by experience.
Sometimes we fail to gain more experience.
Understand that some things take longer to master and it may require you to try at it a few times before you get it. Think about it . Some of the most famous people we know failed thousands of times before they got the chance to reach their goal. Take Thomas Edison for example. The man locked himself in a lab for hours for days at a time to work on his creations. He worked hard day in day out and he still failed tremulously.
You cant take your failures to heart.
He learned something new each time. He even had to take a step back and to think so he can figure out a plan to make his creation come to life. Eventually, he did just that. He knew the task he was trying to achieve wasn’t easy. So he made sure he put the work in. You have to apply that same mindset. Be mindful of the task that you are trying to achieve and understand that some task is not as easy as it looks.
Sometimes it’s about putting your all into something despite the outcome.
So when you fail to make sure you pick yourself up. Instead of beating yourself up over it. Make sure you give yourself encouraging words. Tell yourself it’s going to be okay. Make sure you remind yourself that this is not the end for you. Be thankful for the experience. Understand that you will be granted opportunities to try again. Understand that the people you admire and look up to today have been in this position. If you want proof to make you feel better about this , then read this article. Six famous people who failed before succeeding I’m certain after you read those stories you may feel eager to try again.
Come up with a plan.
Recognize where you went wrong and recognize how to improve for next time. Instead of saying : ” I can’t believe I messed this up.” Replace those words with I didn’t get the results I wanted but I know I need to change my routine to get the results I want.” This approach will make you eager to perfect your work. That eagerness will cause you to fall in love with the process, which will push you to be ready to try again.
I know you’re probably thinking, “well what about what happened the last time ?”
When you get rid of the negative self talk , you will not beat yourself up over your previous mistakes. Your mind will use those mistakes as tools , which will make you feel confident in your success. As long as you remain positive and push yourself to keep going you will see great results. If you need help with making this transition , then read this article Chase Your Goals – Overcome Your Lack of Fulfillment In Life. This article has tips that will also help you change your perspective and will provide you with activities that will help you do so.
