So you’re in a relationship and you have been for a while and things aren’t the same anymore. You haven’t been happy for a while. At times you feel like your relationship is more of a burden, then it is an asset. You don’t want to be with them anymore and you know the relationship is coming to an end, but for some reason, you just haven’t found the courage to pull the plug. You haven’t tried to prepare yourself to even think about how things will be once it’s over.
Even though you know that’s the best thing to do, you’re still holding on.
Day after day another problem occurs and you find yourself getting tired. At times you feel alone with no one to run to. You want to express the pain and the hurt that you’re facing from your relationship but you know it’s pointless to talk to your partner about it. Over time you learned that it’s best not to say anything because the situation isn’t going to change.
Even if things do change it will only be temporary. Like most people, you just want some to talk to. For once you just want someone to listen and understand where you are coming from. But in the same breathe you do not want to talk to your friends and family about it. Even though you know they will be there to listen, you know they are tired of hearing the same old story. They’re just going to tell you to “ leave them alone you’re going to be so much happier once you do “.
You prepare everyone for your break up but you never make a move.
Of course, you know this already and you are tired of telling them that you’re going to leave and have yet to make a move. You tell them you are done but you always end up right back. The people that care about you get mad at you when you do this and of course, your response is “ it’s easier said than done. “
Everyone on the outside looking in thinks you are making excuses.
Maybe you are but maybe walking away isn’t that simple.
Even when you know the relationship is over, and you no longer have the desire to make it work. It may not be that simple to walk away when your life has been jointed with this person for so long. But if you know you don’t want to be with them anymore. You will eventually have to face reality and get ready to prepare yourself for what’s about to happen. You can’t hold on to “Dead Weight” forever.
I know the breakup may not be that simple. Especially if there are other people involved. in a situation like this, the breakup won’t just affect you, it will also affect everyone that has been involved over the years. A few things will raise a concern in your mins such as Family, children and household arrangements. These factors alone can make you discouraged to go through with the breakup. But in reality, you know eventually, it will have to be done. The question is where do you begin?
First, start off by sitting down and talking to your partner. Hopefully, your partner is well aware that you’re ready to end the relationship. Let them know you do not want to drag the relationship on anymore and you two need to figure out a plan where everyone is in good standing.
Household situation.
The hardest part is figuring out the household situation . Especially if you two are used to living together and splitting all of the bills. Both of you have to come to an agreement who is going to stay in the house and who is going to leave. Make sure y’all both give yourself enough time to sort out the household bills so no one suffers tremendously. eventually whoever is leaving the house will have to reduce that amount of money that is put into their current home in order to move into their new home. both parties need to come up with a date when the billing arrangements will change.
That way both parties will figure out how to adjust to the new circumstances.
Go seek a finical advisor if you can.
Going from a dual income to a solo income is a huge transformation. The last thing you want to do is separate and try to live your life like your living off two incomes. You will be in debt quicker than you can blink. See what you need to keep and what you can cut out. For example, if you know you have a football ticket and you know you will not use it once your spouse moves out, then get rid of it. Do not keep any expense that you will never use because you can use that money towards another bill.
Make sure you find a budget that will help you stay afloat once y’all split and stick to it. if you want to get a headstart on this, then start making these changes before the breakup.
Prepare yourself by coming up with a plan for the children.
Co-parenting is something that most people do not want to do. Most people try to stick relationships out for the sake of the children. However, if you two are not getting along, then it’s probably best for you and the kids for you two to split up. I know people may rather have both parents in the same household. Especially if your children are used to seeing both parents every day. But if you are in an unhealthy relationship. It’s probably doing more damage to the children by y’all staying together, then y’all splitting apart.
Prepare the kids for the transition.
 Arguing and mistreating one another will affect the children in the long run. Come together and figure out how you plan to do holidays, birthdays and family gatherings. Figure what days work best for y’all as well as the children. Make sure y’all decisions are about the kids and making sure everybody is comfortable and happy to make this smooth as possible.
Connections with the family.
When you’re with someone for a long time you partner family sometimes becomes your family. You build relationships with their parents and their other relatives. You may feel that these are bonds you really value and you do not wish to give up. If it’s really that strong then you can always make sure that you are one call away.
You have to prepare yourself to let certain connections go.
Maybe make arrangements for y’all to stay in touch in a way where it won’t interfere with your ex new love life. In some cases, you may still be able to have a relationship with their family. However, it’s a possibility that you may not be able to have access to them as much as you once did. Especially when time goes on and y’all start to see other people. It may be hard for you to stay in the picture when there’s someone else involved.
The goal is to make sure you prepare for the ending.
You already know it’s coming. But you just need to make sure you are as prepared as possible. Once you figure these things out maybe you will feel more confident to walk away. When you know that you have a backup plan and you are prepared for the outcome. Now don’t get me wrong some people may not be in the kind of relationship where things will go this smooth. But preparing yourself will reduce some of your stress. 12 Things You Need To Know Before Breaking Up With Someone You Live With
Prepare for things to be difficult but prey for the best.
Sometimes people are not always on the same page. As a result, your partner may give you a hard time and make the situation difficult. If you find yourself in this position then you can still follow these steps. However, just know that you will have to figure out all these matters out on your own. Such as bills, living arrangements, etc.
Understand people probably won’t believe you are going to leave until you do it.
You told your friends and family that you are going to leave and that you are ready to finally close the door. Everyone agrees with you and everyone sees how much a toll your relationship takes on you.
Everyone is waiting for the day for you to be done once and for all. However, it all begins with you. it is important, to be honest with your circumstance and come up with a plan . once you begin to sort everything out is when you will become more confident in your decision. of course it is not easy to part ways from someone, but once you come up with a plan it w will put a fire under to push through and end it.
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