Voids- Signs That You Are In A Relationship To Fill A Void.

 

Everyone has that period when they get tired of being single. After a while, going on multiple dates and talking to multiple to people can get annoying. Some people would rather focus on one person.  However, it’s just a matter of finding the right person. But, the question is how do you know when you’re ready for a relationship, or when you’re only getting in a one to fill a void?

Make sure your intentions are right when you are entering a relationship.

Are you unhappy Or stressed? It is not a good idea to get into a relationship when you’re at a low point in your life.A relationship may be able to distract you for a little bit but your issues will eventually catch up to you. In this case, one or two things are going to happen: you are going to blame your partner for being unhappy, or you will leave them high and dry after they fill your voids. It is unfair to put someone in that position.

You may be filling a void when you try to rush into things.

You wake up one day and all of a sudden you are in a relationship. Perhaps you met someone the two of you have a few good interactions, and then y’all end up together. I’m not saying this is always a bad thing. There are cases where people meet and connect instantly.  However, if you meet someone and you get emotionally attached without knowing much about them. Then there is a chance that you are filling a void. Think about it. How can you be attached to someone you don’t know anything about?

Void Filler: When you do things that you wouldn’t normally do.

If you’re a person who likes to move slow and you find yourself moving faster than usual, then you may be filling a void. You know you should take your time making big decisions such as sex,  introducing them to your family and friends, and moving in together. You go against everything you wouldn’t usually do because you don’t want to wait for the relationship to form. You want to feel the love IMMEDIATELY!

You may try to fill a void when you are lonely.

Perhaps you and your friends have gone y’all separate ways. Maybe you are someone who does not have the best relationship with your family or maybe your friends and family live away from home.  If you are someone that does not have anyone to hang out or talk to, then it’s easy for you to jump in a relationship. You convince yourself that you do not need anyone as long as you have your boyfriend/girlfriend by your side.  Yes, you are no longer lonely but what are you going to do when your partner hangs out with their friends? You can’t go everywhere they go and you can’t be mad at them for having a life outside of you. 

You feel like you can’t get enough of them.

Let’s be real you can’t tell me if you’re around someone every single day, you will get tired of them eventually. Why do you think most married couples are always arguing with each other? it’s not because they are old, its because they do everything together and they are fucking sick of each other.  It doesn’t matter how much you love and get along with your partner everyone needs space. However, someone who is filling a void may not want to give their partner space because they do not want to be alone.

 

When you can never be a single.

You’re always in a relationship. Every time you get out of a relationship, you find yourself back in another one. If you do decide to be single, you’re dating, or you’re in an unofficial relationship. You never give yourself time to be entirely alone. You are always yearning for affection and love from someone. If you keep jumping in and out of relationships, then you are most likely making the same mistakes. Here’s something that may help you stop this cycle and chose the right partner. The Break Up Book – Ace Metaphor

 

When you start to settle.

You are well aware of what you do and do not want, however, you find yourself dealing with the type of people you know don’t serve you any good. You complain about the way they behave, and who they are as a person. However, you allow them to stay in your life, and you keep trying with them. They are not entirely terrible, but they are not giving you what you deserve. You tell yourself you are going to keep them around until you find something better.  Instead of letting them go until that better comes along. If you find yourself in this predicament  I highly recommend you read this book. This book was written by a well-known relationship coach named Derrick Jaxn.  Don’t Forget Your Crown: Self-Love Has Everything to Do with It. This book has great insight that may be helpful.

 

You are trying to change a person.

This is when you know you’re at your most desperate point. When you try to change and a mold a person to be something that they’re not. You see the potential in them, and you convince yourself that “ if they care about me they will change for me .” That is the worse thing you can do. If you do not like them for who they are, then you shouldn’t be with them.  There is a huge difference between being in love and being attached to someone. if you love someone you should not expect them to change. Even if your spouse decides to change, it will be for them not you. This way of thinking will only ruin your relationship. 

 

They may be using you to fill a void too.

Some people may also pretend that they may be whiling to change for you, most of the time they only do this because they know it will keep you around longer. They know that they don’t serve you well but they do not want to be without you either. They know you don’t want to be without them either so, they use this tactic to their advantage. if you know deep down in your heart that your relationship isn’t going anywhere, then you should prepare for things to end. I know it’s not easy to walk away from a relationship. even if you in a relationship you are not happy in, it can still be difficult to walk away from someone you’re attached to. however, here is a post that can help you prepare for a breakup.